Writing about data: make the numbers "stick"
Numbers don’t “talk”. But they should communicate a message, effectively and clearly. How well they do this depends a lot on how well authors use numbers in their text.
In a sense, journalists and statisticians are from two cultures. They tend not to talk the same language. Journalists communicate with words; statisticians communicate with numbers.
Journalists are often uncomfortable when it comes to numbers. Many are unable even to calculate a percentage increase. So here are some suggestions for making the data “stick:”
- Don’t peel the onion. Get to the point:
Poor: “The largest contributor to the monthly increase in the CPI was a 0.5% rise in the transportation index.”
Better: “Higher auto insurance premiums and air fares helped push up consumer prices this month.”
- Avoid proportions in brackets:
Poor: “Working seniors were also somewhat more likely than younger people to report unpaid family work in 2004 (12% versus 4%).”
Better: “About 12% of working seniors reported unpaid family work in 2004, compared with 4% for younger people.”
- Watch percentage changes vs. proportions: A percentage change and a percentage point change are two different things. When you subtract numbers expressed as proportions, the result is a percentage point difference, not a percentage change.
Wrong: “The proportion of seniors who were in the labour force rose 5% from 15% in 2003 to 20% in 2004.”
Right: “The proportion of seniors who were in the labour force rose five percentage points from 15% in 2003 to 20% in 2004.”
- Avoid changing denominators:
Confusing: “Two out of every five Canadians reported that they provided care for a senior in 2001, compared with one in seven in 1996, according to the census.”
Clearer: “About 40% of Canadians reported that they provided care for a senior in 2001, up from 14% in 1996, according to the census.”
- Reduce big numbers to understandable levels:
Cumbersome: “Of the $246.8 billion in retail spending last year consumers spent $86.4 billion on cars and parts, and $59.3 billion on food and beverages.”
Easy to grasp: “Of every $100 spent in retail stores last year, consumers spent $31 on cars and parts, compared with only $23 on food and beverages.”
What’s wrong with this article?
A NEW REPORT RELEASED TODAY SAYS THAT THE PRICES OF MANY PETROLEUM PRODUCTS WILL BE HIGHER IN THE FUTURE
The tight global markets and elevated crude oil prices are expected to result in higher prices for petroleum products . The cost of imported crude oil to refineries this winter is projected to average 98.3 c/g (about $40 per bbl) compared to 70.1 c/g last year. During the winter, WTI prices are expected to decline from their current record levels but remain in the $40 per bbl range, but despite above-average natural gas stocks, average winter natural gas prices, both at the wellhead and retail levels, are expected to be above those of last winter, particularly during the fourth quarter of 2004, in response to the hurricane-induced production losses in the Gulf of Mexico during September.
Increases in heating fuel prices are likely to generate higher expenditures even in regions where demand for fuel is expected to fall. Average residential natural gas prices this winter are expected to be 10 percent higher year-over-year and household expenditures are expected to be 15 percent higher. |
Therefore, residential space-heating expenditures are projected to increase for all fuel types compared to year-ago levels.
Demand is expected to be up by 1.637 percent. This increase reflects greater heating degree days in key regions with larger concentrations of gas-heated homes and continued demand increases in the commercial and electric power sectors. Due to the availability of primary inventories, many petroleum products are expected to be reasonably well protected against the impact of demand surges under most circumstances. As of October 1, working natural gas inventories were estimated to be 3.6tcf, up 2 percent from three years ago, 3 percent from two years ago and 1 percent from last year.
Other interesting findings from this report are that the spot price for crude oil continues to fluctuate. Prices continue to remain high even thought OPEC crude oil production reached it’s highest levels in September since OPEC quotas were established in 1982. Overall inventories are expected to be in the normal range, petroleum demand growth is projected to slow, and natural gas prices will be will increase. |
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What’s wrong....
- Headline is too long and doesn’t make a clear point.
- All-cap headline looks like the author is shouting.
- Don’t underline words unless they are an electronic link.
- Lead paragraph is background.
- Report title and release date aren’t stated.
- Jargon: Readers might not know that gasoline and heating oil are petroleum products.
- Spell out units: c/g is cents per gallon; bbl is barrel.
- Acronyms: OPEC is the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Counties.
- First paragraph is too long: Too much detail, too many numbers.
- Sentences are too long.
- The main story line is in the third paragraph.
- Unexplained references: demand for what is expected to be up?
- Round numbers: not 1.637 percent.
- Elevator economics: this is up, this is down.
- Bullets preferable in the last paragraph.
- No URL link cited at the end.
- No contact or phone number provided.
- Proof read! In the last paragraph, “thought” should be “though”; “it’s” should be its” and “will be will increase” should read “to increase”.
A Revised Version
Released: September 16, 2004
Consumers will spend more to heat their homes this winter
Homeowners will pay much more this winter to heat their homes, according to the latest Heating Usage report released today by the Energy Minister. It predicts an 8% increase in spending over last winter.
Increases in prices for heating fuel are likely to generate higher spending, even in regions where demand for fuel is expected to fall. Average residential prices for natural gas are expected to be 10% higher than last winter, while household spending is expected to rise by 15%.
Tight global markets and elevated crude oil prices are expected to result in higher prices for petroleum products. The cost of imported crude oil to refineries this winter is projected to average 98 cents per gallon (about $40 dollars per barrel), compared with 70 cents per gallon last year. |
Despite above-average stocks of natural gas, average winter natural gas prices, both at the wellhead and retail levels, are expected to be above those of last winter.
Other interesting findings from this report:
- The spot price for crude oil continues to fluctuate. Prices continue to remain high even though the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) production of crude oil reached its highest levels in September since OPEC was established in 1982.
- Overall petroleum inventories are expected to be in the normal range.
See the entire report at www.HeatingUsage.gov. Contact John Smith in the Press Office at 123.4567 for more information. |
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